Day 10 of 21 - Wednesday...mid-point of the week and the mid-point of the fast. They call Wednesday "hump day" because you have to make it over that hump that causes you to feel exhausted, stressed, and stuck in the piles of work. Well, today was absolutely a hump day for me as far as work, but even more so for the fast.
More than any other day, I felt attacked today in my mind. The enemy is hitting me hard with everything from my job to my mental health to my physical health to finances to my marriage and back to work again! Today was a true roller coaster of emotions for me, in which I found myself in tears several times during the day. The only thing that I knew would cheer me up today was holding my baby girl in my arms once I got home. I couldn't wait to see her! And once I did get home, I took her upstairs and spent some quality time, just me and her. That is what I call "Chicken Soup for the Soul"; she warms my heart!
Anytime I catch myself feeling this way, I need to find that thing that will connect me with God so that I can allow Him to comfort me and speak to me. Many times, I tend to wallow in my own pity - you know the way we do sometimes - listen to depressing music or watch a sad movie. I have to really focus on not perpetuating these feelings that come into my head somehow.
For me, that is either through dance or through music. I find that dance is the ultimate way for me to get closer to God because it involves my whole body. I can give my entire self with the gift that He gave me as an expression of praise. Singing is also something that is near and dear to my heart because of how I grew up. My whole family is very musical and music was always a way for us to express ourselves. Regardless of the method, I absolutely have to do something to get closer to God so that I don't go insane!
As for today's task, I was observing my team at work today and it appears that I am definitely not the only one who is feeling this stress. There is quite a bit of tension at work, so I thought I would do something nice for my team. Tonight, I am going to bake some cookies and take them to work tomorrow for my co-workers. It will be nice to have a positive impact on them in some way, as I have feel like my affect on them has leaned more towards the negative lately.
I am hoping that the cookies will help us all get past our own "hump day", whatever that may mean to us! Oh, and I hope they are tasty too!
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