iFly Away!

Have you ever wanted to do something absolutely ludicrous just to experience the feeling, like bungee jumping or sky diving, but didn't want to have the ominous feeling of the small likelihood of severe injury?

Well, I have always wanted to sky dive, but the thought of jumping out of a plane thousands of feet in the air is just a bit too much for me. Thankfully, my thoughtful husband found the folks at ifly in Citywalk who give us a means to experience what flying through the air feels like without the threat of certain death. My hubby took me there as the first in a slew of fun things that he has planned for my birthday weekend. 

At ifly they provide an indoor sky diving experience in which you are completely supported by a vertical tunnel of wind while remaining less than 20 feet in the air. At first, you fly with your instructor and they make sure that you are safe and teach you how to hold the proper flying position. Once you become more advanced, you can learn to do tricks and even fly tandem with your loved ones. What I thought was even more amazing was that even children 3 & over can do it as well. We watched a little girl who couldn't have been more than 5 years old flying with her cheeks flapping in the wind and loving every minute of it!

Overall, the experience was awesome and I would completely recommend it to anyone who has a daring spirit and loves to try new things. I, myself, would like to go many more times so that I could learn to do some of the tricks and flips (I was a gymnast, you know). There are just two drawbacks that may keep me from returning unfortunately.

1) Price: If you want to do just one flight, it costs $40 and each additional flight in the same session is $20. I'm sure you're thinking that this doesn't sound too bad and I would say that you're right, but that leads me to my number two reason.

2) Flight Time: Each flight is only 1 minute in length. Now, the reason for this time, I believe, is that an actual free fall when you do sky diving lasts less than a minute, so theoretically, you are free falling for the same amount of time as the real thing. They tell you that it feels longer than a minute, which probably would have been true if I wasn't so in tune with the time because I was thinking so hard about it. But still, $40 for 1 minute is a bit much in my opinion. Of course, you do get a mini-training course and you get to watch the rest of your group do it and the instructor shows his crazy moves at the end too. But you could watch that as a casual passerby too.

Moral of the story: If you have $100 or more to spare, it would be great fun for you and the family to head over to Citywalk and take flight at ifly! As you can see, I quite enjoyed myself!

Another Year...

Well, today I celebrate yet another year of life. All day, I've been hearing everyone wish me a Happy Birthday, but I really haven't stopped long enough to really evaluate what it is that we should all celebrate each year when this occasion arises. It is always great to assess where you are headed during the year that you will experience at this new age, but I think it is also important to see how far we've come and to really celebrate the years that have come before. We are truly blessed in so many ways.

So today, I want to say how much I have been blessed in the last 32 years of life and how much I am thankful for:

My God for fearfully and wonderfully making me in my Mother's womb.
My Mother for birthing me into this world even though I was flipped upside down (destined to be a gymnast, I suppose).
My Father for doing puzzles with me at the kitchen table.
My sister Emily for letting me listen to her record player in her room.
My neighbors for exploring the creek down the street and getting us into trouble (the good kind).
My siblings for playing Sardines in the laundry chute.
My sister Julie for falling through the ceiling and dangling her legs until help arrived (LOL)!
My siblings for sliding down the stairs in our sleeping bags.
My sister Emily for vaulting over the couch using the Jazzercise trampoline.
My babysitter for waiting up with me for my Mom to come home late at night.
My brother John for subjecting me to his Cherry Bomb muffler in his Dodge Dart while he scared me half to death driving.
My Dad and Stepmom for bringing my little sister into the world and letting me help out with her.
My Stepdad for moving us to Germany for 4 years.
My first crush for asking me to slow dance for the first time :)
My sister Julie for being an example so that I would look forward to getting into youth group.
My 9th grade video teacher for instilling a love for film that sparked my life-long dream.
My best friends who stayed up all night with me making silly, but totally awesome videos.
My Mom and Stepdad for taking us all over Europe to explore other cultures.
My coach for pushing me to new levels in my gymnastics career.
My sister Julie for letting me come into her room at night when I was scared.
My Stepdad for teaching me how to drive (a stick).
My Mom for letting me drive on the Autobahn (woo hoo!).
My Youth Group leader for teaching me the power of prayer.
My brother and sister for leading me to have one of the best jobs a teenager could have at the local amusement park!
My Mom for telling me to apply to Penn State when I didn't want to.
My first coaching job that would continue the love affair that I have with the sport.
My first college roommate for throwing pillows at me every morning because I wouldn't wake up.
My best friend Lish for showing me the ropes at school and making me laugh for 4 years!
My roommate Taj for laughing for weeks about Hair.
My friends Mike and Dominic for letting me crash their radio show every week in the wee hours of the morning.
My sister Emily for driving with me across country with no sleep and letting me crash on her couch for a year.
My first supervisor for showing me how a good working relationship should be.
My co-worker Helen for demonstrating true selflessness and renewing my faith in the good nature of people.
My co-worker Hanh for forcing me to hold back tears of laughter in meetings on a daily basis.
My God for using my friend Rimo to tell me about a church that would end up being the place where I got saved.
My Pastor for teaching me the real deal about the Bible and why God sent Jesus to die and be risen again.
My friend for asking me to be part of the dance ministry which would spark something in me that would blossom into years of service.
My church for being such a big part of my life that helped me to stay focused on the right things.
My Father for accepting my boyfriend (now husband) Michael as part of my life and eventually part of the family.
My husband Michael for being my best friend, asking me to marry him and for bringing my step-children and our newest angel Kylah into my life.
My daughter Kylah for making me smile every day all day.

Wow! When you start to write all of the things that have blessed you over the years, you can truly see how amazing your life is! Many times, what we remember about our past are all of the negative experiences we have had. But if you take the time to single out all of the blessings that your past holds, you may be surprised at all of the memories that come rushing back! I think I'll make it a tradition to do this every year! You should try it!

Dedicating to Christen at the Baptism

Ok, so in the past year I have witnessed several baby dedications, attended a couple of christenings, and also flew to Ohio for my nephew's baptism. It seems that when we have a baby, we want to make sure they grow up to be strong children of God, but we all do it differently. I know it's confusing to me - dedications vs. christenings vs baptisms - so I thought I would do some research and share what I found with you.

A little clarification:

Dedication

Definition: A ceremony that welcomes the baby into the church and dedicates her to God as well as the parents dedicating themselves to raising the child in the things of God. This is not done using water, as churches who do dedications typically reserve water baptisms for those who are old enough to make the choice to be baptized.

Parental Responsibility: On About.com, I read this that I liked:
"Christian parents who dedicate a child are making a promise to the Lord to do everything within their power to raise the child in a godly way, prayerfully until he or she can make a decision on his or her own to follow God. Parents who make this vow of commitment are instructed to raise the child in the ways of God, and not according to their own ways. Some of the responsibilities include teaching and training the child in God's Word, demonstrating an example of godliness, disciplining according to God's ways, and praying earnestly for the child. "

Also, typically Godparents are chosen to serve as additional examples for the child, teaching them about scripture and showing them what it means to be Christians.

Baptism

Definition: A process of purification and restoration by being washed with water. Almost all Christians believe in baptism at some stage in life. In the Catholic Church and some Protestant religions, this is done at the infant stage. This is because these religions believe that baptism removes the guilt and punishment of original sin. They believe that if the parents wait until the baby gets older, they may be risking the child's salvation.

Parental Responsibility: The responsibility of the parents is very similar to that of a baby dedication.

Christening

Definition: I have found information concerning the use of the word Christening to be conflicting. I have seen several cases where "Christening" is interchangeable with baby dedications, as well as it being interchangeable with baptisms. Also, I have found several sources that say a Christening is the naming of a child in the church, which I confirmed with the official definition of the word. I also know that part of the baptism ceremony is to name the baby, so in that case, Christening is a part of baptism.

So, I think I have a clear idea of the difference between baby dedications and baptisms, but if someone asks me to come to their baby's Christening, I think I may need to ask more to find out exactly which one they mean. The moral of the story is that we all want our children to grow up knowing and loving God and it is our responsibility as parents and Godparents to teach the child about the Word of God and to be a strong example of how to become a person of Godly integrity, faith and love.

Day 20: Breaking Bread

Today was the fast-breaking day for the 21 day fast. I know in my head, this was day 20, but I think I was counting the first day that we started as day 0....lol. It reminds me of "Office Space" when Michael says "I always do that. I always mess up some mundane detail". Except this was just a few meals, rather than $300,000.

So today we broke our fast at 6PM, and we decided to take the day to spend time with the kids before we broke it. They were fasting from sweets and I must say that they have done an exceptional job at keeping it up. They were even asking at school if some of the lunch food was made with sugar! I find this amazing, but then again, more and more I realize that kids really do emulate what they see at home. I mean, I hear the kids use quotes that I say all the time! It makes you really think about what you say and do around them. Regardless, I believe that the reason why they did so well with the fast is because they saw us sticking to it and making it top of mind everyday.

It was a great family experience to celebrate and appreciate the fast together today. We went to the movies and then went out to eat to break the fast as a family unit. At dinner, we asked the children what they leaned from the fast. I think it is so important to ask them questions like this because they realize that the fast wasn't just to give something up, but rather to learn more from God and get closer to Him.

Our 6-year-old didn't really know how to elaborate on her experiences, but our son who's 8 said that it taught him that he was able to do something that he thought was too hard to do. When we started the fast, he wanted to change his mind about what to give up, but we explained to him that it may not be easy, but that it's a sacrifice that we do to honor God for the sacrifice he gave us. He understood that concept and with his answer tonight, I believe he has an even deeper understanding of sacrifice and the power of free will.

For me, I have gained so many new revelations and new ways to approach situations in my life. I am truly excited about what God is doing in my life and I can't wait to continue exploring these areas so that I can continue to grow.

I now have a better perspective on how to discipline the children, while keeping an open relationship with them in which they feel comfortable talking to me about things that concern them.

I also have a much more holistic view on our finances that will allow me to keep a bird's eye view of our goals and fiscal responsibilities rather than being deep in the trenches of the bills themselves and each little expense.

In my marriage, I am becoming more understanding of who my spouse is and how I should communicate with him so that we can grow together as one unit rather than as individuals whose lives begin to separate.

At work, I have made immeasurable strides towards changing my entire experience with the work itself as well as my co-workers. I have renewed my motivation to work at 125% and have begun to hold tight to a more positive outlook to each new challenge. I am back to the employee that I have always been, and that feels great!

Lastly, as it relates to my faith, I have realized that I absolutely need to make the time in my schedule to honor God in whatever ways I can. More importantly, I have been reinforced in that me and my husband must take the time to read and pray together no matter how we feel. This is key for both of our spiritual walks and for us as a couple as well.

Wow- God has truly done a work in our lives! These 21 days have been challenging, energizing, enlightening, refreshing, and fulfilling. It's so awesome to really see how great God is in our every day life!

Day 19: Minty Fresh

One more day and I am rounding the last corner of the fast. Today, my focus was finances one last time, but this time I wanted to summarize all of the things I've learned over this time into one final task. And today, I stumbled upon my task while helping out a friend.

I was asked by one of my friends to give her the budgeting template I talked about a few posts ago. I created this spreadsheet in Excel that itemizes all of your income and expenses and calculates what you should have left after you have paid all of those bills, bought groceries, etc. It's somewhat like balancing your checkbook, but you can plan ahead as well so that you can see exactly where your money is going and when you may need to adjust in some areas before you hit a tough patch.

While I was formatting the spreadsheet for my friend, I had a great idea. I was thinking, what if I could add some functionality to the spreadsheet that would send you a reminder email when a bill is due, or help you calculate how to pay off debt in a certain time frame like I planned earlier in the fast? Then I began thinking that maybe I could create a website that would do this for its users in addition to many other financial planning tools. I was so excited because I may just have the NEXT BIG IDEA!

Of course, I had to go online and do my research to make sure there wasn't anyone else in that marketplace....and low and behold....www.mint.com was the very first website that popped up! This website does everything I was thinking of - it was astounding how anyone could possibly have thought of my brilliant idea before me! I was seriously cracking up. Of course someone has already thought of this!

Regardless, since this amazing website already exists, I made my task for today to sign up at mint.com so that we have our own personal financial advisor online! In the tool, you upload all of your bank accounts, credit card bills, loans, and investments (with the highest security). If you have online access to these accounts, all you have to do is login and they bring in all of the information for you.  Then you can create your budget, which was actually uploaded from my bank when I logged in because I had created one on the bank's website a couple of weeks ago. That was impressive!

You can set up all kinds of alerts so that you are notified when an event happens which you can set. For example, you can have an alert for when your balance hits a certain amount, or when your bills are due, or even when you've gone over your budget in any category. I think this will be very helpful to us as we try to maintain our budget more consistently. You can also set up financial goals and the tool tracks how you are progressing towards those goals. They also have tools that will estimate your tax refund quickly which, for me, allowed me to see which would be better: if me and my husband file together or separately.

Overall, I think this website can be one of the best things that has happened to our budget. I haven't learned all of the functionality yet, but I am excited to explore the site as I am steadily improving our finances! You should check it out too! If you are concerned with the safety of placing all of your information in a central website location, which is totally understandable, check out this link that details the security measures taken by the site to ensure that your information is safe.

Happy Budgeting!

Day 17/18: Seeing the Finish line...

...But realizing that the race will never end. Life is absolutely in line with the cliche: This life is a marathon, not a sprint. So, as the fast nears the end, I can see many of the things that I have learned throughout this process, but I know they are merely tools for me to use as I continue to grow and change for the better.

In these last couple of days, I want to reflect on the invaluable insights I have gained from this time and to make a list of each learning as it relates to the original categories I listed in my first day's post. I want this fast to be applicable to my life and to go beyond the 21 days. If I allow the things I have learned to get trapped in these 21 days alone, the fast would have been all for not.

Today, my task is to read with my husband. Simple, right? There are so many times that our days get so stressful that either we are too tired or too busy to read. Sometimes, we may read on our own, but I believe that it is so important to share that time together to get closer to each other and to God. God can tell us things while we are alone in prayer time, but I think there is a whole new level of revelation that can happen when you read with your spouse. And of course, the Word says in Matthew 18:20, "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them". Some of the most amazing answers to prayer, in my experience, have happened when I have prayed about it in a group.

So, as I retire to our room to get into the Word, I leave with you this thought: What race have you been running as if it's a sprint, when you should be pacing yourself for the marathon ahead?

Day 16: Insanity

Yesterday I mentioned that I needed to turn off the TV this week in an attempt to stay more focused on God and be in His presence more. Well, today my task was to keep the TV off all day and I achieved that. The only issue is that it is now midnight and I haven't read any scripture or prayed in depth yet today.

It was great to rid myself of the distraction of TV to get things done. I was able to be productive in ways that I wouldn't have been had the TV been on. I made financial plans, read a story to my baby, helped my husband with a project, worked on my film, and still made dinner, fed and bathed the baby all in just a few hours!

It is nice to be productive, but I am definitely going to have to work on making more time for God. I don't know about all of you, but more times than not, the trivial tasks of every day life seem to be so important that I place them above the most essential things like spirituality, relationships, and mental and physical health. Somehow I convince myself that doing a load of laundry will be more productive than spending time on my marriage or praying. It's like I'm being fooled into staying where I am.

Well, I am going to make it my goal to defy these urges. Albert Einstein said "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results". I need to yield different results in my life! I am ready for change! So every time I have the urge to choose mundane chores and simple responsibilities over the things that contribute to the big picture of my life and help me to get closer to the plan that God has for me, I am going to take a step back and take a good look at the choice I have before me. This way, I can gain a little more perspective on my life and what is most important.

Implementing this process may be tough, but starting tonight, I refuse to allow the small stuff choke me and hold me back. This may sound extreme, but if you are "type A" like myself, you can understand how much the pressures of getting everything done can begin to stifle your existence. Be encouraged - you may not be where you want to be but at least you're not where you used to be! Keep it moving!

Days 14/15: Focus and Finish

Well, as my lack of post yesterday would suggest, I have had a jam-packed couple of days. Per my previous post, this 3 day weekend was CRAZY! Not only was it crazy as far as the number of things I had to get done, but also it was crazy as far as hearing what God had to say and trying to organize it all in my head. There have been three main themes over the last two days:

- Get rid of distractions to focus on what God is doing in this last week of the fast (tv, etc.)
- Start thinking more about reaching those who are different than myself
- Get working on the path that God has told me time and time again to go down (stop procrastinating)

At our church on Sunday, the Pastor was talking about being in the presence of God, allowing Him to speak to us. You know, my biggest distraction is the TV. It is a deliberate attempt to not be present: to remove myself from reality. In the meantime, I let many things that need to be addressed go by the wayside. I could be praying. I could be talking to my husband about our life, our dreams, our stresses. I could be spending time with the kids, building our relationship. I could be teaching my new baby about the little things that makes life so wonderful.

Instead, I sit in front of the television and completely zone out. I just sit and allow myself to get sucked into these other worlds, some fantasy, some reality. And I allow myself to subscribe to "guilty pleasure" shows that cannot possibly be edifying my spirituality or any other productive part of my being. So this week, I will attempt to keep the TV off. Today I did that for quite a few hours and was able to get some long-overdue tasks done (if you came to the baby shower, you may be finally getting your much-needed thank you :)).

After our church service, I went to another church to listen to one of my old friends and Pastor to hear him speak about reaching the community. His message was so strong and it made me think about how I am attaining the mission that God has sent us for: to bring others into the kingdom and to love one another. The thing that he emphasized was that God didn't tell us to only love other Christians who are just like us. He told us to love everyone, especially those who are not like us! What good is the church if we all just stay in our buildings and fellowship with each other? We have to go out into the world and be witnesses to those who don't know what God can do for them. He also shared a quote from Frederick Buechner who said, "our calling is the place where our deepest joy and the world's greatest need intersect".

Hearing that message really gave me the swift kick that I needed to start living to fulfill this mission. I need to stop making everything about me and how people may offend me or get on my nerves. It's not about me! It's about God and showing His love to others...ALL OTHERS! It will be a process, but I am seriously going to re-evaluate my method of dealing with other people - at work, at home, and anywhere else that I come into contact with people. I am a witness so what type of witness will I be? And how will I reach them? I have to figure out what my deepest joy is and how I can use it to fill other's needs. It will be a process of discovery.

Lastly, on Sunday night, I attended a mixer for a film festival that I have entered. It's an awesome film festival called Project 168 in which each team has exactly 168 hours (one week) to produce and finish a short film that is based on a scripture they pick at random. Earlier I spoke about the path that God has told me to go down. He has told me time and time again that I should use film to tell the messages of the Bible to the masses. I'm talking about the real messages that the Bible tells that answer the questions that everyone (Christian and non-Christian alike) want to know about life. The Bible really is applicable to the world today, and I want to share some of what the Word has to say with the world through film.

At the mixer, God was truly speaking to me about my film and what I need to do to finish it right. He used others to give me ideas about how to execute a better film and led me in new directions with the overall concept. I came out of the meeting re-energized and ready to get to work on my film!

After being blessed by all of these speakers, I was ready for another packed day of spending time with family and getting some household chores done. Of course, as often happens after having such a big breakthrough, the enemy came into my mind today and tried to break me down! I started feeling overwhelmed with all of the things that need to get done and the thought of spending time at a park with the kids while I could be getting so many tasks done at home took me over.

I ended up staying home with the baby while my husband and the kids went to play with their cousins. I was a bit disappointed in myself for my choice, but I was able to allow myself to sit still for a minute and focus. Even though my reason for staying home was because I was so overwhelmed, once I was able to just be still, I felt more relaxed than I have in a long while. Once I took those few moments of silence, I was able to be very productive and get many of the chores accomplished in a short amount of time. Now, I am preparing myself for the coming work week and feeling much more positive!

Well, today's post was very random, much like my weekend, but wanted to share with you anyway. I hope you were blessed in some way :).

Day 13: The "Week-end"

Today was the first day of a three-day weekend for most folks, as we celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day on Monday. It got me thinking about weekends in general and what they really mean.  I assume that the word "weekend" was conceived in relation to the concept that the week is finally over and now we have a time of rest before it begins again.

When you're growing up, the weekend is a nice break from all the craziness that is the week. You have fun playing with your friends or playing sports and going lots of new places. When you become an adult, the weekend continues to be a time of play, but now you and your friends go out, you may go watch a sporting event or travel to new places. The weekend holds up its definition up until this point in life.

It isn't until you become a parent that your weekend now becomes a time where you have to provide all of those activities (you know the ones we used to do ourselves?) for our own kids! We take them to play with friends, go play in their sports games and take them as many new places we can to teach them more about the world or just to spend time with them as a family. Of course, we love to do these things too, but calling it a time of rest would be a far cry from reality!

Every time my single co-workers ask me what I'm doing for the weekend and I list the many things we typically have planned, they always make a comment on how busy I am. To me, it's just normal; that's just what we do! That's the life of a busy LA family! I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it would probably be good to try to find some time to slow down at some point.

Tonight, my task is to just spend some time with my husband so that we can slow down and relax while watching a movie. This task has already been pushed a few hours by other last minute errands and things we remembered that we need to do. And it will probably be pushed again as I am finishing my blog and my husband needs to do another project on the computer once I'm done.

But at some point tonight, we will sit down to watch a movie together, I only hope it's not so late that we both fall asleep within the first 5 minutes! This happens all too often, but we both need to make a better effort to really take time for us. That's so important, not to get so wrapped up in the things of this world that we forget what life is all about. On that note, I'm out!

Day 12: Opening The Door

Today was a pretty exhausting end to an extremely packed week of work! It was one of those days that you just want to come home and do nothing for the rest of the night. Those of us with kids will tell you that is not really possible. Coming home from work is really just the beginning of your second job of being a parent.

During the week, the evening is spent doing homework, cooking dinner, and getting the kids ready for bed. Once they're in bed, you may have time to zone out in front of the tv for a while, but that's usually all you have energy for. And with an infant in tow, zoning out is typically not a viable option. But they are worth it! Don't get me wrong.

Many times, the stresses of our workday and the pressures of getting everything in order with the children may cause us to harp on our kids constantly. I know that, for me, I am on them every minute of every night, trying to keep them on task so that we can finish it all. There isn't much time for fun. That's what my last task for the kids was all about and I've been making an effort to continue spending more "fun" time with them.

Another thing that I haven't made enough time for is having quality conversations with them. I talk to them about school quite a bit and we talk about what they want to be when they grow up. I even talk to them about responsibility, respect, and having good character. But there's one important theme that runs through each of those conversations. It is me talking to them. It is not usually a two-way conversation. Many times, I am correcting them or they are being disciplined when we have those conversations, so it is not the time or place for them to express themselves.

Today, my task was to have a quality conversation with the kids to let them know that if they ever have anything that they need to talk about or tell us, that they can always come to us. I want them to be the kind of kids who share their feelings with their parents, not the ones who hide things and end up lying and resenting their parents.

Now, this is not to be confused with allowing the children to input their opinions into everything that we tell them and definitely not to be misconstrued as an excuse for talking back! No, this is more of a way of us allowing them to express when they are upset about something or have concerns about things in their life. We have to understand that it's not easy on the children either when their parents are divorced and they have to traverse the sometimes intense waters of living in two different households, not to mention school, friends, and having a step-parent.

We have to remember how it feels to be picked on at school or to get a bad grade on a test. We can be hard on the children when they get a bad grade, but we can also do it in a way that doesn't break their spirit, especially if we know that they are particularly sensitive in that area. One way that I have been able to see what areas of the kids' life are concerning them is in our morning drive to school.

Every morning, we have a routine to say our prayers on the way to school. Each child gets their own time to pray and I have them thank God for two things and ask God for two things. It's amazing how telling these prayers can be! Our 6 year old was having trouble with telling lies and you could tell that she was always debating whether she would rather get in trouble for whatever she did or tell a lie to us to avoid getting in trouble (not that it would ever work because we got her number!). During the morning drive, one of the things she would ask God is to help her to not get in trouble or to help her to tell the truth. For our son, almost every day, he prays that he will get a green card (for good behavior) at school because he knows that if he gets a yellow card, he'll get in trouble at home.

These prayers made me realize that the kids really do, in their heart of hearts, want to do the right thing and make us proud. They don't like to upset us, and it's even to the point that they are in fear of upsetting us. That's where I want them to be able to talk to us. I don't want to break their spirit, so I want them to have an outlet for their emotions. Maybe we will set up a family time where we can be open and honest in a forum-type setting. I'll have to think more on that. Does anyone use this kind of tactic with your kids? If so, please share!

Day 11: Sweet Treats & Little Feats

Wow! What can I tell you about today? I have to say that you would be amazed at what a small gesture will do to an office full of tension! I would have never guessed the impact that just a few cookies would have on my co-workers.

From the time I walked in the door to my office with the cookies I baked last night, I didn't hear anything but happiness and thank you's from everyone that I gave them to. All day, people were talking about how the cookies made their day. It was really nice to contribute to a change in attitude  not only for myself, but for others around me as well! I would highly recommend that if the moment strikes you, you should absolutely make an effort to do a little something for those around you. The little things in life most certainly do count!

My task for today had to do with my finances. Last week, I figured out a set amount that I should pay on my credit card bills in order to get to a 20:80 debt to credit ratio before 5 years. Today, I took the next step in that process by setting up auto-pay on those payments for the amounts I calculated. This way, I will never be late on the payments and I will stick to the amounts because I won't be logging in and determining how much I pay each time. Until now, when I went in to make payments, even though I had a set payment in mind, many times I would change the amount at the last minute because of other factors. Now, I will be consistent so that I can achieve the goals I have set out for.

Now I just need to do my best to not use the cards for anything! Maybe that will be my next task...have you ever heard of putting credit cards in the freezer? That way, you can't use them for anything unless it's planned out (like in the case of an emergency car repair, etc.). I think this would significantly decrease my likelihood of using them....I'll get back to you on whether that will make it onto my task list. :) For now, I have made great progress by making auto-payments...baby steps.

Day 10: Hump Day

Day 10 of 21 - Wednesday...mid-point of the week and the mid-point of the fast. They call Wednesday "hump day" because you have to make it over that hump that causes you to feel exhausted, stressed, and stuck in the piles of work. Well, today was absolutely a hump day for me as far as work, but even more so for the fast.

More than any other day, I felt attacked today in my mind. The enemy is hitting me hard with everything from my job to my mental health to my physical health to finances to my marriage and back to work again! Today was a true roller coaster of emotions for me, in which I found myself in tears several times during the day. The only thing that I knew would cheer me up today was holding my baby girl in my arms once I got home. I couldn't wait to see her! And once I did get home, I took her upstairs and spent some quality time, just me and her. That is what I call "Chicken Soup for the Soul"; she warms my heart!

Anytime I catch myself feeling this way, I need to find that thing that will connect me with God so that I can allow Him to comfort me and speak to me. Many times, I tend to wallow in my own pity - you know the way we do sometimes - listen to depressing music or watch a sad movie. I have to really focus on not perpetuating these feelings that come into my head somehow.

For me, that is either through dance or through music. I find that dance is the ultimate way for me to get closer to God because it involves my whole body. I can give my entire self with the gift that He gave me as an expression of praise. Singing is also something that is near and dear to my heart because of how I grew up. My whole family is very musical and music was always a way for us to express ourselves.  Regardless of the method, I absolutely have to do something to get closer to God so that I don't go insane!

As for today's task, I was observing my team at work today and it appears that I am definitely not the only one who is feeling this stress. There is quite a bit of tension at work, so I thought I would do something nice for my team. Tonight, I am going to bake some cookies and take them to work tomorrow for my co-workers. It will be nice to have a positive impact on them in some way, as I have feel like my affect on them has leaned more towards the negative lately.

I am hoping that the cookies will help us all get past our own "hump day", whatever that may mean to us! Oh, and I hope they are tasty too!

Day 9: Budgetastic!

Today, I found myself in a slightly better mood. I was more aware of the attack of the enemy and that kept me prepared to shield myself from those thoughts for the most part. Whenever I was faced with a frustrating situation, I purposed to stick to the old saying - "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all". This is a very wise saying and once you start implementing that concept, it's even easier to say something positive in light of what your first thoughts may have been.

On to tonight's focus. I wanted to revisit my finances and continue the process of improving my fiscal position. Last week, I created a plan to get my credit card debt into a more manageable state. I used my existing balances and calculated what my monthly payment would have to be to get to a 20:80 debt to credit ratio by the end of 5 years. The good news is that on one of my credit cards, I can get there in 4 years and for one, I can even attain the goal in 3 years! I was so excited to see that!

So now the next step is for me to modify my existing budget to reflect those payments and also to see where we can cut our spending to make them. On my bank's website, it has these "handy-dandy" tools that show you where you are spending your money and how each month compares to yur monthly average in those areas. For example, it may show that on average, you spend 20% of your inflow on food and 30% on rent, etc. Then it will show in which months I spent less on food and more on rent and so on. It also shows your total inflow-outflow for the month.

On a side note, remember the last time I was talking about how we have somehow been able to make our bills, even though it doesn't make any logical sense? This may be TMI, but in order to make my point, I have to tell you that our average monthly Inflow-Outflow for the past year is a negative number. That means we are spending more than we are bringing in - but yet our balance is not negative! God defies all logic for real people!

I digress...

So, my task for today is to use these tools that the bank provides to create a more solidified budget that will help us to achieve all of our financial goals for the next year. I am going to use a serious spreadsheet to calculate all of the inflow, less all bills, and any other expenses. Anyone who knows me knows that spreadsheets are my friend! If you would like a template with formulas in it, I can email you a copy if you let me know.

Well, time to get to it!

Day 8: Putting On My Armor

I come to you today after one of my most trying days at work. It wasn't so much the work itself, but rather my mindset towards the work. Have you ever heard the saying that whenever you feel the attack of the enemy, you must be doing something that the enemy doesn't like, and are probably on the brink of a huge blessing? Today was one of those days.

This was the first day that I prayed my prayer over the workplace, and as soon as I did, I began feeling attacked and the feeling lasted the whole day. My attitude was being tried constantly as more and more situations came up that were frustrating and stressful. I felt a steady attack on the battlefields of my mind and by the end of the day, I was starting to feel drained and defeated. I was feeling like I will never have the new attitude that I desire so much.

Tonight, as I sat down to think through what my task should be for today, I have been reminded of a little book I once started. I got the idea from someone a long while ago to create a little book of encouraging scriptures that I can read whenever I feel the need to get some strength from the Word. When I started to make up the book, I found an over-arching theme that felt fitting for the book. It was based on Ephesians 6, which talks about the armor of God:

Ephesians 6:10-18

Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.  

Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness,  and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace;  above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one.  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God;  praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.

I feel a strong connection to this scripture and it reaches me for 3 reasons:

1) It acknowledges the battles that life brings us and doesn't sugar-coat it
2) It reminds us that those battles are not with the people who may seem to be causing them, but rather that it is a spiritual fight against principalities and spiritual powers.
3) It tells us how to win the battle!

My book took each of the parts of the armor and broke it down even further. I found scriptures that I felt related to each of the pieces of armor: truth, righteousness, the Gospel of Peace, faith, salvation, and the Spirit of God. It stresses the shield of faith which would "quench all the fiery darts of the enemy", and coincidentally, that one area of focus for me during the fast.

Even though I found scriptures for all of the pieces of armor originally, I only completed faith and truth in the book and thus, lost all of the remaining scriptures.  My task for today is to find scriptures for all of the other pieces of armor and to begin the process of completing that book. I may even start fresh and go a little more high-tech this time around with a professionally printed book. I want this to be something that I will actually carry with me, so that in times like these, I can find a quiet spot, open it up and get my mind right before continuing my day.

Day 7: Language Lesson #2

Well, it has now been a full week since we began this fast. I am still thinking about how refreshing a Diet Coke would taste every once in a while, but as that feeling fades, I continue to learn more about myself and more about my faith. Today at church, God revealed even more things that I need to work on. One of the Pastors came up to share Hebrew 3:7-14 which says:

So, as the Holy Spirit says:

   “Today, if you hear his voice,
 do not harden your hearts
as you did in the rebellion,
   during the time of testing in the wilderness,  where your ancestors tested and tried me,
   though for forty years they saw what I did.  That is why I was angry with that generation;
   I said, ‘Their hearts are always going astray,
   and they have not known my ways.’  So I declared on oath in my anger,
   ‘They shall never enter my rest.’ ”

  See to it, brothers and sisters, that none of you has a sinful, unbelieving heart that turns away from the living God.  But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.  We have come to share in Christ, if indeed we hold our original conviction firmly to the very end.

In general, the scripture is saying that we need to just confess those areas in our lives that have been outside of the will of God and give those areas to Him so that we can live a free life. It was a message of freedom. It is only once we can realize these things and release them to God that we will be able to feel the joys of true freedom in our lives. Freedom from condemnation and freedom from the oppression of our own sins.

There are a few areas of my life that I need to give to God so that He can work them out in my life. 1) Anger & frustration as it relates to our kids and discipline. 2) Unforgiveness as it relates to my husband's ex, and 3) My turning away from what God has shown me to be the call on my life, due to fear. We had the chance to get prayed for in these areas and I know that God is doing a great work in my life in these areas and also those that I am focusing on during the fast. Wow! God is busy with me! :)

So, as far as the task for today, I have purposed to appeal to yet another one of my hubby's love languages. I want to get well-versed in these languages so that he can receive love from me in a way that truly shows him how I feel. I can tell that when I show him love in my love language, he can't fully understand how much I appreciate him and how thankful I am to have him in my life. So today, I will make sure to show him how much he means to me in a way he can understand!

Day 6: Family Matters

Well, today I was able to spend some time with my family after we unexpectedly got the kids for the weekend because their Mom backed out of her visitation. Since the opportunity presented itself, I took this chance to make my task for the day to spend as much quality time with the whole family as possible.

First, I brought our daughter to my dance rehearsal at church because she loves to dance and I thought she would enjoy rehearsing with us. Even though she's only 6, she was able to keep up quite well with us! She was completely floored by the experience and you could see her confidence get stronger by the minute! I'm so glad that we were able to share something that we both love so much. Dance is such a powerful form of expression and if you can find something like that you can share with your children, I highly recommend making a point to do those things together.

Next, I was able to take the whole family to see the new movie Tron since my job was having a free showing for all employees. It was such a blessing. We don't get to go to the movies very often because of the ever-increasing prices, but once we do, it's a family activity we all cherish because we are so enamored with the whole movie-going experience. And to top it off, we all loved the movie, even our new infant, who used the constant electronica as a backdrop for a great nap!

Now, as we retire to bed, I will be spending some quality time with my husband, watching a romantic comedy as we settle in for the night. I always love to relax with my hubby while watching a good chick flick :). Husbands, I know this may be rough sometimes, but you never know what you could be missing until you try it! You may even start to like romantic comedies!

Well, this was a short one, I know, but it's time to get to that movie.

Day 5: Changing Attitudes

Today, I wanted to focus on my attitude at work. I have recently returned to my job after 2 1/2 months of maternity leave. The combination of leaving my newborn child at only 6 weeks of age and coming back to a volatile work environment has left my attitude less than ideal. I am having a hard time feeling motivated and can see that my attitude may even be affecting those around me. Is this how a Christian should represent God on the job?

So today, my task is to write a prayer that I will pray every morning before I get out of the car at work. This prayer will serve as a reminder that when I go into work, I am going as a representative for God, what He has done for me, and how I trust in Him no matter what is happening with me. If I go into work complaining about my life and how many troubles I have, what incentive is that for those around me who may not know God? I have to show them through my attitude how awesome my life is because of Him!

If you are finding yourself in the same type of situation at work, here are some scriptures that may help:

Colossians 3:22-24 - Slaves, you must always obey your earthly masters. Try to please them at all times, and not just when you think they are watching. Honor the Lord and serve your masters with your whole heart. Do your work willingly, as though you were serving the Lord himself, and not just your earthly master. In fact, the Lord Christ is the one you are really serving, and you know that he will reward you.


Nehemiah 4:6 - Commit your work to the LORD, and then your plans will succeed.


Also, in the area of being grateful for having a job (especially in this economy):

1 Corinthians 15:58 - And also that every man should eat and drink, and enjoy the good of all his labor, it is the gift of God. 

When it all boils down to it, I am more than grateful for my job and I know that God has a plan for my life. Whether that plan is to continue for years in my current position or to explore new endeavors, I will strive to improve my attitude and leave a more positive mark on my co-workers for the time that we have together! I want them to think of me in a positive light and correlate that with having Christ in my life.

Day 4: Debt Be Gone!

Day 4's task is all about finances. This is an area of my life that I think most people may perceive I have in order, when in fact, there is much that needs to be repaired. I'm sure this is the case with most people, but all that matters at this point is that I work to get my finances in order so that we can achieve the goals we have set for ourselves and our family.

Now first and foremost, we have to tithe and give offering to God, because without Him, we would have nothing! It is our thanks to Him for being our provision and making a way for us no matter how our bank account may look. And let me tell you, there have been so many times that we should not have been able to make payments, but somehow, the money was there. There was literally no mathematical formula nor any logical explanation for how we made the bills or paid for the last bit of our wedding, but somehow, God made a way.

We are already pretty consistent with our tithe and offering, so the next area of finances I am being led to address is the area of debt. Our society is so reliant on debt that it is nearly impossible to live your adult life without racking up some serious debt. The issue that continues to confuse us all is that, in order to have a good credit score, you have to have credit, and one credit card is not gonna be enough! It all sounds lovely - walking around spending money without having to earn it or save what we've earned and paying small amounts every month to chip away at the balance. The problem is that once you have all these credit cards, you have to keep your debt to credit ratio in check.

A debt to credit ratio describes, for revolving credit (credit cards), how much debt you have versus how much of your credit limit you have left. For example, if you have a credit card that has a limit of $5,000 and you have a balance of $1,000, then your debt to credit ratio is 20:80 because 20% of the limit is being used. From what I've read, a good credit score is typically seen with a debt to credit ratio of 30:70 or less. The national average is 52:48. At this point, I can tell you that mine is higher than 80:20, so this is definitely an area I need serious CHANGE in!

My task for today is to set a timeline and a budgeting plan to get my debt to credit ratio to 20:80 - in essence, to flip the script on that ratio and get us into a much more favorable position as far as credit. We want to purchase a house at some point in the next few years, so this is something that we'll need to get in order ASAP! I am going to set a timeline for 5 years and calculate how much we need to pay every month to get us to that 20:80 point by the end of those 5 years. Then, I am going to budget those monthly payments into our existing budget and believe God that we can pay those payments without any problems!

I encourage all of you to take a look at your debt to credit ratio as well. I know it may seem daunting and we may feel like we can never get to that optimal ratio, but in our experience, anytime we have made a decision to do something, a way has been made!

Day 3: Childhood Games

Day 3 of the fast and I'm starting to forget about soda and spend more time thinking about my life, and how I can improve it! Today, I wanted to focus on my relationship with my children, especially the older two who are my step-children.

Coming into the friendship with my husband, the children were already 2 and 4 years old, and by the time I was interacting with them often and acting as a parental figure, they were 4 and 6. I think that because they were so young, it allowed me to have a smoother transition into being a step-parent than, say, a person who has preteens or teenagers. They got attached to me pretty quickly and had no problem with me acting in that parental role.

The only issue was that most of my experience with children was from being a competitive gymnastics coach, so I was used to discipline, discipline, discipline. I had seen how effective discipline can be and it worked well in order to get my job done. The children I coached still liked me, but they knew that there was a line that they could not cross, as far as staying respectful and accomplishing the work.

With this background, I naturally slipped right into the disciplinary role with the kids. We have set schedules for everything and we stay on task at all times. The routine works and, as you have probably seen on shows like Super Nanny, they are almost a necessity to keep your house sane. Having said that, there has to also be a time for playing and having fun with the kids. You have to show your kids how much you enjoy spending time with them and how you genuinely like the people that they are becoming.

Because of the visitation schedule with their mother, this kind of time with the kids is in high demand in our house. We have only one or two weekends a month with the kids, so much of our time with them is spent during the week getting things done. Since both me and my husband work, the children are in an after-school program that lets out no earlier than 5:15, so we have from about 5:30 until their bedtime of 8:30 to get all homework corrected and completed, eat dinner, do chores, take showers, and do any extra-curricular activities like ballet and taekwondo.  Whew! I'm tired just writing about it!

As you can imagine, much of those 3 hours is pushing the kids to get what they need to get done, done! There isn't any time for relaxation or playing games together. Lately, I've been feeling like I don't give the kids nearly enough smiles or crack enough jokes with them. I know this would be something they would truly enjoy, as both of them enjoy time with us and are pretty funny kids themselves!

So, I've decided that today's task is to teach the kids a game that I enjoyed playing as a kid. I have chosen the game Spoons. Not sure if you've ever played it, but it is a hysterical card game that is fast-paced and just plain fun. It will allow us to spend some time playing without any tasks or overbearing stresses. I am looking forward to game night tonight with my children!

Day 2: Love Languages

Day 2 has been quite a bit different than day 1. Since I had to work today, I wasn't able to find as much quiet time and it too me until this evening to get to my task for the day. Today, I wanted to focus on my marriage, so without getting too personal, I'll tell you a bit about what God has shown me today as it relates to me and my husband's relationship.

Have you heard of the book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman? It is a sort of handbook for couples, written by a marriage counselor with over 30 years of experience. He noticed some patterns amongst his clients along the way and determined that there are 5 basic ways that people give and receive love with their significant other. The key is to understand your spouses' primary love language and try to show them how much you care while speaking their language.

The 5 Love Languages Are:

Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Personal Touch

You can even go to the website www.5lovelanguages.com and take a quiz to see what your primary love language is. Mine is Quality Time, which isn't a surprise to me, as I have noticed how much I enjoy spending time with my husband no matter what we are doing.

I believe I know what my husband's primary love language(s) are, so my task for today is to do something that will appeal to that love language, even though I may not be fluent in it yet. Interestingly enough, Gary Chapman noted, in his years of counseling, that most people end up with people who speak a different love language than themselves. This makes it even more important to find out what language your significant other speaks and try to increase your vocabulary!

Day 1: Read and Pray For an Entire Hour

Day 1 of the fast was a day of revelation. I feel like this day has been so full and has taught me so many things! It's amazing how taking a step away from something you put so much effort towards can help you to focus on other things.

The task that I gave myself today was in the area of increasing my faith. I know that this is something that many people do already on a regular basis, but for me, the task is something that has proven difficult in the past. My task was to sit down for an entire hour to just read and pray. My husband took care of the kids while I took time to focus on God. And let me tell you, God sure did show me some things during that time!

It wasn't anything like mountains moving and ground shaking, but it was just subtle things that He showed me and some very important things that I may have already known, but have lost sight of. I feel like God speaks to me in these ways more of ten than not. Maybe that's just the way that I hear His voice best.

It's the simplest thing, but one thing I found while looking through my Bible was a very helpful section in the back. It gives about 10-15 lists of 30 Day Bible Studies that are arranged by subject. It has 30 Days with Jesus, 30 Days of Prayer, 30 Days of Lesser-Known Bible Stories, 30 Days of Promises and so on. I thought it was so well-organized and to the point, so I used that as a reference for my reading. It's amazing what you find when you just take time to look.

One of the last scriptures I read based on one of the 30 Days of Prayer was Luke 11:7-13. The scripture states:

And suppose the one inside answers, ‘Don’t bother me. The door is already locked, and my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give you the bread because of friendship, yet because of your shameless audacity he will surely get up and give you as much as you need.

   “So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.  For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

    “Which of you fathers, if your son asks for a fish, will give him a snake instead?  Or if he asks for an egg, will give him a scorpion?  If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!”

What really stood out to me was verses 9-10, in bold above. Now I have heard this scripture before, but I heard it a bit differently this morning as I read it aloud in my quiet time. Before I understood it to mean exactly what it says - if you ask, you will receive, if you seek, you will find, and if you knock, the door will open. Today, when I read it, God showed me that if I don't ask, I cannot receive. If I don't seek, I cannot find. And if I don't knock, the door will not open! 

In other words, I can walk up to the door and stare at it all I want, but if I don't knock, how will it open? So many times, we have opportunities to seek God's plan for our lives and we don't act on it. Maybe it's because of fear, maybe because of being too busy, maybe for a lack of understanding, or maybe even out of laziness. The point is that in order for God to do a work in our lives, we have to put some work into it! I feel like there is a recurring theme in what God is saying to me lately! Anyone else?

21 Days.

21 days to learn. 21 days to read. 21 days to pray. 21 days to build relationships. 21 days to grow. 21 days to CHANGE.

I don't know how many of you have ever done a fast, but our church is coming together and uniting by doing a 21 day fast. Not everyone is fasting in the same way, but all members are making a promise to take 21 days to fast and pray in some way. Some will be fasting from food altogether, some will be fasting from meats and sweets, and some will be doing a gradual fast. All that matters is that we come to a place of getting closer to God and uniting as one body of Christ so that we can hear how he would use us to carry out His work.

Because I am still breastfeeding our daughter, I will be doing a different type of fast. For me, something that is difficult to give up is soda. I would even go so far as to call it an addiction. I drink several cans of soda per day and think about it all day long. So I have decided to go without soda for 21 days so that my thoughts and effort will be focused on God instead. That may sound easy for most, but for me, it will be a battle for sure.

Aside from fasting, I want to take this time to pay special attention to the areas in my life that I want to change this year. If you've ever heard of the movie "Fireproof", the main couple are having trouble in their marriage, so the husband reads a book called The Love Dare, which gives him 40 days worth of tasks to do in order to get closer to his wife and save their marriage. I want to use this concept to create 21 tasks, one for each day of the fast. These tasks will help me to make CHANGES in the areas of my life that need change the most:

- Faith (reading the Bible and praying, specifically)
- My Marriage
- Children (relationship with)
- Finances
- Work (attitude)

Each day, I will set a task for myself in one of these areas so that I can allow God to do a work in me and my thinking. God can do anything, but we have to put action into the areas that He reveals to us. He wants us to do His work through our lives, but it requires just that...work!

During this time, I will also be fasting from Facebook completely and checking email once a day in case of emergencies only. I will continue to post on my blog so that I can share my experiences with you as I carry out these 21 days and 21 tasks. I am hoping that my journey through this fast will bless someone out there to increase their faith as well! God bless!

Disciplining Your Kids As Christians

I don't know about all you parents out there, but one of the hardest things that me and my husband have dealt with lately is how to discipline our children in a Christian way. In a perfect world, when our children misbehave, we would be able to discipline them from a neutral emotional place, while successfully explaining to them the Christian viewpoint with them fully grasping the concept and never doing it again. Yeah...that would be nice.

I just wanted to share a few ideas that may help you with disciplining your children while trying to maintain the Christian aspect of it. Of course, these are only ideas, and even though me and my husband try to do these things, they don't always necessarily happen this way. After all, we all fall short of the Glory of the Lord! We are not perfect - thank God for the blood!

As far as what scripture says about discipline, there are a few scriptures I've heard or read that you can refer to if needed. I've even shared these scriptures with our children so that they understand why we discipline them.

1) Proverbs 29:17 - Discipline your children, and they will give you peace;
   they will bring you the delights you desire. 
2) Proverbs 13:24 - Whoever spares the rod hates their children,
   but the one who loves their children is careful to discipline them. 
3)  Proverbs 19:18 - Discipline your children, for in that there is hope;
   do not be a willing party to their death.

When explaining these scriptures to our children, we ask them questions so that they can see our point of view. We ask them what would happen if we let them do things like lie, steal, or cheat. They understand the concept of consequences, so they may respond with "I would go to jail" or something of that nature. Then we ask them if it would show them how much we love them if we let them go to jail. Of course, they respond with a no. They can see why we have to discipline them so that they will make the right decisions the next time they are faced with that situation.

Another thing that we have purposed to do, but have not been consistent with is praying with our children as part of the discipline process. We want them to understand that they need to behave not just for us, but also for God. He wants us to be honest, be kind to each other, and make good decisions. When we, as adults, do something that goes against His commandments, we confess these things to God in prayer and thank Him for the forgiveness He has given us through His son. We must teach our children how to pray this way as well and to understand the concept of forgiveness. Now I must admit this is very difficult to do, especially if you are upset about whatever the child has done to initiate the discipline. It's just something that we must pray about ourselves so that we can carry out the process.

As far as being upset, there are steps we can take to refrain from disciplining while we are angry. I must admit this is the hardest one for me, as I take their misbehavior personally in the heat of the moment, as if they have set out to disrespect me.

Try this:

Step 1: Take a breath.

Step 2: Remember that they are your children and what they want more than anything is to make you proud and for you to love them.

Step 3: Remember that children have not perfected the art of thinking before they say or do something (let's be honest - most of us adults haven't either!). We have to continue to remind them until it becomes a habit.

Step 4: Have the children stop what they're doing and sit still for a minute while you go and pray about it. Ask God for guidance and a calming spirit so that you can convey the right message to the child.

Step 5: Decide your course of action before you return to the scene of the crime. Stick to this course of action no matter what you may feel when you go back into the room.

Those are my suggestions and more than anything else, I will be striving to follow them diligently myself. It is so easy for us to reach our limit throughout the day even before we see our children. We have to try to realize that and not take our own stresses out on them.

We want our kids to grow up to be good Christian parents and spouses as well, so we must be an example. Children are, more than anything, a product of their environment, as we can now see our parents in ourselves. There are always exceptions to every rule, and of course, a bad cycle can be broken in some cases with lots of work and prayer. But let's face it - do we want to be part of a cycle that our children spend their lives praying and working so hard to break? We want to be part of a cycle that our children would be proud to carry on to their children and their children's children!